Feeling Stagnant and the Joy of Missing Out:
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The reality that no one tells you before starting university is that, getting through your degree might be the easiest part, everything else that follows afterwards is probably the most challenging. I have had to battle with the insecurities of losing some form of control over my career/life goals as well as battling with the fear of remaining behind whilst everyone moves forward. When I started university, I made a promise to myself that I would graduate with a first class degree and actively work towards improving my CV so that I would not struggle with securing a job after graduating. This meant I had internships over summer holidays and took 4 months out of my second year to work. Leading up to May 2019, I was certain this was a solid plan and to affirm my beliefs, I got offered a job role with the Civil service as an Assistant Economist, something I thought was almost too good for me. I then wrote my exams and graduated with a first class honours, everything sounds perfect right… wrong.
The job I thought I secured slipped through my grasp on the basis that I am not a British national, at least that’s the conclusion I have come to. I then decided to start looking for jobs elsewhere and one rejection after the other I begun to feel as though I worked hard for nothing. These feelings were heightened whenever I went on LinkedIn and noticed that my peers had been offered jobs immediately after graduating, additionally it doesn’t help that I decided to stay in England and sacrifice going on holidays so that I could secure a job.
To end the sob story, I realised that for starters, not “everyone” has gone ahead, and surprisingly a lot of people I have spoken to recently, also feel unaccomplished and stagnant. The truth of the matter is, being a graduate in 2019 is very different than it was 40 years ago. Back then, a degree guaranteed a job, however at the moment, the job market is over saturated and therefore even a first class degree cannot guarantee a job immediately, sometimes it is the person who did the bare minimum who goes ahead, thats just life. Patience is also definitely a virtue, the feeling of being left behind is brought up by wanting to rush through life, comparison and skipping to the part of success, in whatever way you may define it. Fair enough some people have made names for themselves in their early 20s but that is their own life path, majority of successful people tend to claim success in their later years.
The key is to not remain stagnant, keep moving forward and find ways in which you can get to your goals, even if that means taking a route you did not initially intend to take, and perhaps accepting the fact that some goals cannot be reached right now but maybe later. For me that means, I am not starting off my career in a highly sought out role, as an assistant economist in London, but rather looking elsewhere in places that I will still make an impact in whatever manner I can. I have also decided to find joy in missing out on getting a job immediately. I am taking this time to do things I said I never had time for, even though I am yet to develop the discipline to commit to things I start.
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I wrote this piece for anyone who feels as though they are not where they thought they would be at this point in their life, and anyone who is beating themselves up for not doing enough. You can do everything right and still not be where you want simply due to timing. The past cannot be changed but you have control of what you do with the time you have now.
Podcasts I recommend listening to are:
The Humble Journey to Greatness- which is about setting goals and dreams that are not too far from reach and surrendering to your own mediocrity. Very different from being told to aim for the stars
The False Power of Your Ego- my take away is that sometimes your ego manifests is other forms that may not be obvious to you. In my case it is thinking that I deserve to have a job by now because of my achievements,
Motivational songs that suit this stage of my life
- Babybird- ChloexHalle
- Grown- ChloexHalle
- Devasted- Joey Bada$$
- New Level- ASAP Perg
- Fetch your life- Prince Kaybee
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